Sunday, October 17, 2010

Lacuna - Blessed Even in the Missing Parts

la•cu•na
Pronunciation: \lə-ˈkü-nə, -ˈkyü-\
Function: noun
Etymology: Latin, pool, pit, gap
Date: 1652
1 : a blank space or a missing part : GAP ; also : DEFICIENCY 1
2 : a small cavity, pit, or discontinuity in an anatomical structure

A quiet day filled with productivity. I took the day to do paperwork from the job. Yet, I interspersed it with last of the vegetables from the garden, time out in the warm sun and pauses just to think (not to mention a blog or two). There are obvious missing parts in my life. My reactions to the tension and stress of the past two weeks has led several people to ask if I am doing ok.

Reading the “Persist” blog might indicate that I am not. I cringe a little at my own vulnerability. It’s that cycle of fear and insecurity. What hasn’t been so obvious to my colleagues, family and friends is how the kindness has been a balm. The darkness or stress is calmed by the caring. Sometimes it’s simply a tag on a bag saying “Stabenator.” It might be a piece of homemade Bundt cake. A gift of “Porn for Women” (not what you think!!! ) A walk, a call, a laugh or even a shared tear or two all fill the blank spaces.

C.S. Lewis talks about being vulnerable.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.


I stumble quite often on this path of discovery. My feelings are at times raw, my reactions not tempered by thought. However, I am blessed. In the midst of it all, I am blessed.

What Worked for Me Today
Work - getting the piles unpiled

Minutia
Take a Drive to Pacific City and enjoy breakfast at the "Grateful Bread." This has long been my getaway place. A friend of my recommends the ginger pancakes!
http://pacificcity.org/GratefulBread/home.html

Also, loved the Mercantile! I was able to find a child's diary, complete with lock and key! You will find it right down from The Grateful Bread.

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